Conversations
with Drake

Me: oh, look Drake! The dogs are happy to see you. (They run up to the car and wait by Drake’s door while he climbs out.)
Drake, genuinely relieved: My dogs! My dogs! You’re ALIVE!!!!

Me: Drake, let’s make a cake!
Drake: yeah! With swirls and sprinkles and Legos you can eat and gold dust and tiny strawberries and Captain America standing on the top like he is WINNING!
Me: Ummm, how about chocolate instead?
Drake: Ok! Aunt Dena can make me the other one.

Drake: “I don’t really knoooow where I came from. Mommy says I grew in her tummy, but I know that’s not the whooooole stoooorrrrry.”

Drake: How come we were so mean to Japan?
The documentary was discussing confiscation of family samurai swords
Me: Because we just had a war with Japan, and we were angry and afraid that Japan might hurt us again.
Drake: I’m glad we don’t have wars anymore.
Me: Oh, sweet boy. We live in a place that is very safe from war, but right now, there are many wars in other parts of the world.
Drake, tears in his eyes: Tell those guys to stop it, Mom. They should do a lot of timeouts.

Me: Drake, are you a pessimist or an optimist?
Drake: OPTIMUS PRIME!!!!

Conversation in the car with Drake
Me: Let’s go home and read some books!
Drake, sadly: I like my books. But I have readed them and readed them. I wish I could have new books all the time.
Me: Drake, I know where we need to go…

Drake: Mom! Mom, I will lay back and you take my picture! From right over me! 
Me: Ok. *After a few attempts that Drake wants to re-do, I take the photo in this post*
Drake: It’s perfect! I call it “Resting My Hair In Hot Water.”
Me: It’s a great work of art, Buddy.
Drake: Yeah. It really makes you think.

Me: Ok, Buddy, you can pick a Halloween candy from the bowl.
*Drake picks a Lemonhead*
Me: That’s a Lemonhead, and it’s hard candy. You won’t be able to chew it, you just suck on it.
*Drake struggles with the candy for several minutes, trying the bite it/chew it with no success.*
Drake, with a deep sigh: Mom, maybe you should have just said ‘No’ when I choosed the Lemonhead.

What does a boy do when he parties hard until 10 p.m. with Yammo and P-Pop, then spends the day eating candy, going to the movies, and playing lots of Hotwheels? He finds his ‘green wen,’ gets himself cozy in Mom’s bed, and takes a sneaky nap, of course.

Me: Hey Drake, tonight you are going to hang out with Yammo Melissa and do something you have NEVER done before!!!
Drake, super excited: IS IT CAGE FIGHTING?!?!?
Me: Umm, what?