2013-11-10
The sound that "K" makes
Me: What sound does the “k” make?
Drake: “k” makes a BOING sound! Boing! Boing! Boing!
2013-11-04
Fast recovery
Drake: (faking a cough) Mommy, I don’t think I should go to school today.
Me: Drake, going to school and learning is your job. Are you really too sick to go? (I feel his forehead, notice that he is warm and that his nose is running, but he doesn’t seem to feel unwell.)
Drake: (more fake coughing, laying down on the floor) I’m really really sick, Mom. Maybe you should take me to the hospital.
Me: Well, you feel warm. I think you will need to stay home, just in case.
Drake: Ok, good idea. (Waits about ten seconds, the gets off the floor.) Wow, I’m feeling better! Let’s play!!
Yep, feeling super sick.
2013-11-04
Drake, on the nature of existence (and baths)
Drake, while being helped into the bathtub: DON’T get the drain while I’m in here, Mommy. I’ll get sucked down and there won’t be any more Drake.
Me: I think it’s safe, Buddy, but I won’t let the water out if it scares you.
Drake: It’s really important!! I won’t BE anymore. And you will be so all alone that YOU won’t BE anymore. We will just be GONE and never come back.
Me: Wow, Drake.
Drake: Yeah. And the tub will be all empty. But the light will still be on.
2013-11-01
Drake, after his teacher told me he had a time out at school
Me: Drake, why did you use your hands to be unkind at school?
Drake: Mrs. Rau said it’s because I had not-enough sleep and my belly was so so full of CANDY because of Halloween, so I was a wild boy!
Me: So, you plead temporary insanity?
Drake: Yep, I plead calamity!
2013-10-27
Drake's name
Drake: Mom, what’s your name?
Me: Airan Shay Scruby.
Drake: Daddy, what’s your name?
Adrian: Adrian Jon Miller.
Me: Drake, what’s your name?
Drake: Drake Jonathan Miller, Kiddest of Kids, Boyest of Boys.
2013-10-24
Drake, in another "Tacy vs. tasty" situation
Drake, while eating: Biscuits and honey is sooo good!!!
Me: Yep, they are pretty tasty!
Drake: They are NOT Tacy. I not eat Tacy!!
Me: I know, Buddy.
Drake: Because it’s not nice to eat people. And Tacy tastes yucky.
Me: She tastes yucky?? I think she is pretty sweet.
Drake: Mom. Mom. Don’t eat Tacy.
2013-10-24
Drake, while having a sword fight with Pop Pop
Pop Pop, brandishing a stick like a sword: En garde!
Drake, waving his own stick sword: ON BOB!!!
(later iterations have included “en garde,” but also “On Jeeb!” and “On Jesus!” and “On Blurp!”)
2013-10-20
Drake vs vitamins
Me: Drake, come take your vitamins, please!
Drake: I don’t want vitamins today.
Me: Ok. But if you don’t take your vitamins, you might not be able to jump your highest and run your fastest.
Drake, after a long pause: Ok, I take them. But just in case I need to win a race later.
2013-10-16
Drake, at the checkout at Walmart
Drake, to the cashier: Can I have my car?
Cashier: Sure! What’s the magic word?
Drake: Abracadabra!!!!
2013-10-14
Drake, about his kind of lady:
Me: Drake, do you like Mulan?
Drake: Yeah! She is so pretty! And I could FIGHT her!
It’s true love.